Losing Alaska

An Ode To Life

addiction

  • Beast

    I can feel it slipping, my sobriety  Doomed to be forever consumed by this metallic beast  Engulfing my consciousness more every day  Losing myself would say  But lost I already am  In the belly of the beast  Yet still all i can think of is where can I find my next subliminal feast  I am a body  a shell  A corpse of… Read more

  • Roses

    Roses  Roses lined with golden powder  So beautiful  So pure  So deceiving  The spell is upon me  Can I make it to my ever-retreating door of freedom or will these colors once again keep me?   On my pony I fly by my life and laugh  The colors are so sharp I am really seeing it all  I love my invisible pony  I can do… Read more

  • Watcher

    WATCHER “To love for the sake of being loved is human, but to love for the sake of loving is angelic.”    Alphonse de Lamartine Chapter 1 Angel I watched you.             I have watched you for twenty-three years and still you are only but a child in my shadow. You are today the same curly… Read more

  • I want out (part one)

    I wish I could say I knew everything. But the truth is I know nothing. I don’t know why the sun rises. I don’t know why the sea is green. I don’t know why the earth turns, or why water freezes. I don’t know anything, but I do know black. A black that stretches as… Read more

  • Stood

    And she stood staring into death, but of all the times, this time death didn’t stare back. Read more

  • Nobody

    I am tired. I am so tired most days I’m not even here. I’m so tired of seeing things most others do not see. Half of what I see may be real, while the other half is just paranoia. I’m so tired of not being an identity. Of not growing myself into a somebody, so… Read more

  • Therapy Assignment One

    Below is an assignment I did in therapy to work on shame associated with sexual abuse when I was a child. Shame Mental health people say the only way to heal shame is to say it. I wonder if that is true. I certainly have my reservations about it, but what do I have to… Read more

  • Play God

    Sometimes to play god, you have to play God. Read more

  • Dissociative Identity Disorder Assignment Three

    This Assignment is about the inner turmoil of two different parts of me, and about the “elimination” of one of those parts. One In Two Two in One went out for play headed down towards the river not so far away. One of Two she did not talk, while Two of One for her footing… Read more

  • Dissociative Identity Disorder Assignment Two

    This assignment was to find a place where all of the different parts of me could come together, sadly the protector is against the collaboration. Dock We can all meet at my beautiful lake on a dock, hidden in between trees on all sides. A large snow-covered mountain rising to the sky above the taiga.… Read more