Losing Alaska

An Ode To Life

alcohol

  • I want out (part one)

    I wish I could say I knew everything. But the truth is I know nothing. I don’t know why the sun rises. I don’t know why the sea is green. I don’t know why the earth turns, or why water freezes. I don’t know anything, but I do know black. A black that stretches as Read more

  • Stood

    And she stood staring into death, but of all the times, this time death didn’t stare back. Read more

  • Nobody

    I am tired. I am so tired most days I’m not even here. I’m so tired of seeing things most others do not see. Half of what I see may be real, while the other half is just paranoia. I’m so tired of not being an identity. Of not growing myself into a somebody, so Read more

  • Therapy Assignment One

    Below is an assignment I did in therapy to work on shame associated with sexual abuse when I was a child. Shame Mental health people say the only way to heal shame is to say it. I wonder if that is true. I certainly have my reservations about it, but what do I have to Read more

  • Play God

    Sometimes to play god, you have to play God. Read more

  • Dissociative Identity Disorder Assignment Three

    This Assignment is about the inner turmoil of two different parts of me, and about the “elimination” of one of those parts. One In Two Two in One went out for play headed down towards the river not so far away. One of Two she did not talk, while Two of One for her footing Read more

  • Sugar

    I just wanna get fucked up beyond belief,Be carried away from all my pain and grief,I do any drug offered to me,I wanna snort one-thousand lines,But if all I could do was freebase or shoot it I’d do that to,All I really want to do is get high,I need that candy in my blood,I have Read more

  • Sin

    The water blows across the sea rippling and distorting my reflection of me,The summer sun sets and the winter moon rises,Hiding away sin in its millions of disguises,During all of this I just happen to see a faraway person watching over me,The far away watcher of me is broken inside,The gaping hole in her chest Read more

  • Nothing Less

    What is there to write,Nothing that would expand the expanse of the human soul,Nothing to fill that void that is devouring me and pulling me under,Nothing to quench away that gnawing hunger,Who am I? A broken hourglass missing time?A Lego missing a piece?A something?A nothing?A person without a box? I am sadness,I am sorrow,I am Read more

  • Roses

    Roses lined with golden powder,So beautiful,So pure,So deceiving,The spell is upon me,Can I make it to my ever-retreating door of freedom or will these colors once again keep me?On my pony I fly by my life and laugh,The colors are so sharp I am really seeing it all,I love my invisible pony,I can do anything Read more