Losing Alaska

An Ode To Life

depression

  • Roulette

                What is the hardest decision you have ever been asked to make?  Take thirty seconds to think.  Did you find it?  I did.  I don’t even have to be given time.  It is always there, overshadowing everything in both my sub and conscious mind.  A memory almost as horrible as it is hopeless.  A Read more

  • Therapy

    “Why are you afraid of getting better?” the women with the dark eyes and darker hair asks 5000 miles away but sitting in the woman’s living room. “Who said I was scared” “My third eye is telling me.” “You and your third I can….” the woman goes silent. Picking the conversation back up she starts Read more

  • .22

    Slowly the truck turned from the dirt road onto a narrow-wooded path over hung with willows leading into the woods.  I looked in the back of the beat-up old Ford truck at my dog curled into a ball; the best dog I have ever had, slowly suffering to death from an unknown illness. “I love Read more

  • I am

    I am 3 and I am alone. When I laugh no one is there to listen. When I laughed there is no one there to hear it. When I laugh, I don’t laugh outside anymore. I’m alone in this bath with my laughs and she isn’t coming back anymore. I am alone in this bath Read more

  • I want out (part one)

    I wish I could say I knew everything. But the truth is I know nothing. I don’t know why the sun rises. I don’t know why the sea is green. I don’t know why the earth turns, or why water freezes. I don’t know anything, but I do know black. A black that stretches as Read more

  • Stood

    And she stood staring into death, but of all the times, this time death didn’t stare back. Read more

  • Nobody

    I am tired. I am so tired most days I’m not even here. I’m so tired of seeing things most others do not see. Half of what I see may be real, while the other half is just paranoia. I’m so tired of not being an identity. Of not growing myself into a somebody, so Read more

  • Strings

    Strings on my fingers,Strings on my toes,Strings tied in places I don’t even know. Strings in my mind hitched to different people,Puppeteer with his strings that he pulled though his vessel,For I am not free,Nor do I see,He is more than just a part of me. Strings on my fingers,Strings on my toes,Strings tied in Read more

  • A dark house

    A man woke up alone in a dark house, a man woke up alone in a dark house, a man woke up alone in a dark house, day in and day out the man continued to wake up alone in a dark house, a way of life for him that was ideal and safe, a Read more

  • Therapy Assignment One

    Below is an assignment I did in therapy to work on shame associated with sexual abuse when I was a child. Shame Mental health people say the only way to heal shame is to say it. I wonder if that is true. I certainly have my reservations about it, but what do I have to Read more