Losing Alaska

An Ode To Life

Dissociative Identity disorder

  • Roulette

                What is the hardest decision you have ever been asked to make?  Take thirty seconds to think.  Did you find it?  I did.  I don’t even have to be given time.  It is always there, overshadowing everything in both my sub and conscious mind.  A memory almost as horrible as it is hopeless.  A Read more

  • Therapy

    “Why are you afraid of getting better?” the women with the dark eyes and darker hair asks 5000 miles away but sitting in the woman’s living room. “Who said I was scared” “My third eye is telling me.” “You and your third I can….” the woman goes silent. Picking the conversation back up she starts Read more

  • I am

    I am 3 and I am alone. When I laugh no one is there to listen. When I laughed there is no one there to hear it. When I laugh, I don’t laugh outside anymore. I’m alone in this bath with my laughs and she isn’t coming back anymore. I am alone in this bath Read more

  • I want out (part one)

    I wish I could say I knew everything. But the truth is I know nothing. I don’t know why the sun rises. I don’t know why the sea is green. I don’t know why the earth turns, or why water freezes. I don’t know anything, but I do know black. A black that stretches as Read more

  • Nobody

    I am tired. I am so tired most days I’m not even here. I’m so tired of seeing things most others do not see. Half of what I see may be real, while the other half is just paranoia. I’m so tired of not being an identity. Of not growing myself into a somebody, so Read more

  • Strings

    Strings on my fingers,Strings on my toes,Strings tied in places I don’t even know. Strings in my mind hitched to different people,Puppeteer with his strings that he pulled though his vessel,For I am not free,Nor do I see,He is more than just a part of me. Strings on my fingers,Strings on my toes,Strings tied in Read more

  • Therapy Assignment One

    Below is an assignment I did in therapy to work on shame associated with sexual abuse when I was a child. Shame Mental health people say the only way to heal shame is to say it. I wonder if that is true. I certainly have my reservations about it, but what do I have to Read more

  • Play God

    Sometimes to play god, you have to play God. Read more

  • Dissociative Identity Disorder Assignment Three

    This Assignment is about the inner turmoil of two different parts of me, and about the “elimination” of one of those parts. One In Two Two in One went out for play headed down towards the river not so far away. One of Two she did not talk, while Two of One for her footing Read more

  • Dissociative Identity Disorder Assignment Two

    This assignment was to find a place where all of the different parts of me could come together, sadly the protector is against the collaboration. Dock We can all meet at my beautiful lake on a dock, hidden in between trees on all sides. A large snow-covered mountain rising to the sky above the taiga. Read more