Losing Alaska

An Ode To Life

insomnia

  • Beast

    I can feel it slipping, my sobriety  Doomed to be forever consumed by this metallic beast  Engulfing my consciousness more every day  Losing myself would say  But lost I already am  In the belly of the beast  Yet still all i can think of is where can I find my next subliminal feast  I am a body  a shell  A corpse of… Read more

  • Alienate

    It seems like every day it’s getting clearer to me   I do it in so many ways   I never failed to continue to alienate myself this way   always trying to think of something to say   words that never come out   so I just sit back and let you take it away   once again always alienating myself this way  … Read more

  • Acidic

    I’m running my heart to pieces trying to break free of you   but I’m disappearing deep down inside   with every tear I forced deep down inside   breakdown   I’m having on the floor with my head in my hands   I’m screaming through my veins the hate I can feel it brewing   pain anger and sadness fusing together filling me up from… Read more

  • Crimson

    The crimson tide slowly washes over me,  The cascading ebony of the color red clipping my beautiful wings,  The chain of society perpetually tightening around my body every time I try to lift off,  This chilling cement rain puddling and forming upon my feet,  I can feel it,  Every hardening drop keeping me who I am yesterday, … Read more

  • I am

    I am 3 and I am alone. When I laugh no one is there to listen. When I laughed there is no one there to hear it. When I laugh, I don’t laugh outside anymore. I’m alone in this bath with my laughs and she isn’t coming back anymore. I am alone in this bath… Read more

  • I want out (part one)

    I wish I could say I knew everything. But the truth is I know nothing. I don’t know why the sun rises. I don’t know why the sea is green. I don’t know why the earth turns, or why water freezes. I don’t know anything, but I do know black. A black that stretches as… Read more

  • Nobody

    I am tired. I am so tired most days I’m not even here. I’m so tired of seeing things most others do not see. Half of what I see may be real, while the other half is just paranoia. I’m so tired of not being an identity. Of not growing myself into a somebody, so… Read more

  • Therapy Assignment One

    Below is an assignment I did in therapy to work on shame associated with sexual abuse when I was a child. Shame Mental health people say the only way to heal shame is to say it. I wonder if that is true. I certainly have my reservations about it, but what do I have to… Read more

  • Play God

    Sometimes to play god, you have to play God. Read more

  • Sin

    The water blows across the sea rippling and distorting my reflection of me,The summer sun sets and the winter moon rises,Hiding away sin in its millions of disguises,During all of this I just happen to see a faraway person watching over me,The far away watcher of me is broken inside,The gaping hole in her chest… Read more